Flouride Uranium Carbon Potassium Me
by Queen Cakey
Summary: High school AU, where Hanji rocks up to school with a dumb chemistry shirt, and levi attempts to figure out the meaning behind said shirt, rather unsuccessfully.


**A/N: ****Written for Jenn, aka the lollipop butler master, over 8 months ago, since she likes to inspire dumb AU's, and edited because I didn't like my old writing but I still loved the idea.**

**Hanji is referred to by they/them pronouns. If you argue their gender in the reviews I'll be angry.**

His eyebrows furrowed in frustration as he peered forward. To any soul wandering by it might seem like one of the most abnormal sights, the shorter of the two person's head was leaning down slightly to get a clearer view of the text that was displayed across the other's shirt. At least that's what the taller being though he was interested in, and had been since the start of the school day.

"I don't get it." Voice deadpan as usual, straightening his posture and staring blankly into the others face. Hanji just beamed and placed a hand on the other's shoulder.

"It says Fluoride Uranium Carbon Potassium me" they replied, laughing lightly, clearly enjoying the confusion of their peer. Levi just gave an exasperated expression and a sigh.

"I still don't get it" he spoke once again, with a monotone. A unsmiling face glaring from beneath Hanji's eye level.

"You never were good at chemistry anyway, that's why I offer to tutor you, y'know." The brunette waved it off and laughed again only for him to lean up to punch them in the arm. They rubbed their shoulder lightly, as if to mock pain from the non-effective assault.

"Shut up" expressed his voice growing more agitated by the second. It was easy to tell that he was irritated yet curious, even if he probably wouldn't approve of the message and probably give an hour lecture on why it is not appropriate for school.

"You'll figure it out" the taller of the two murmured quietly to themselves, but the male obviously picked up on the words anyway.

"Is that a challenge?" His voice held a sort of questioning tone. 'This is the favourite sort of Levi, competitive over literally the most stupid things imaginable', were the words that crossed Hanji's mind, before clapping their hands together.

"well if you want it to be, I guess it is!" They chimed, a certain excitement filling their expression, clearly evident from the large but smug grin that was plastered all over their face.

His frown lines increasingly became more prominent and his face had a suspicious look, as if he thought there was some sort of conspiracy behind his friend's actions. He knew them well, of course they did.

In response to the other's expression, Hanji only have a simple smile, as if that one simple explained all before the high pitched squeal of the school bell sounded, sending various students heads spinning and others groaning. Hanji swung their havey bag, filled with text books onto their back and did a little salute to their friend, which was a habit they both got from each other.

"See you in English!" the words of the taller person ringing through the busy halls, just from the sheer volume of their voice, they skipped to last class of the day merrily before looking back at levi walking slowly behind them and grinning. 'Perfect' they thought.

* * *

Eyes skimmed over many words and phrases as Levi sat hunched over his desk with the most attentiveness he has ever displayed in school, skimming through his science notebook, for any clue of the mystery the stupid damn chemistry shirt. Time had passed but he still continued the act, probably missing the most obvious clues, he stayed like this for almost the entire lesson.

That is, except for when he fumbled for his chemistry textbook for about 3 minutes, which he realised he had left at home as per usual. The same determined expression was plastered on his face until he checked the time, where it changed into a look of utter despair as he noticed there was only 10 minutes until the end of class. His head fell into his hands the moment he lost hope. The brunette looked to the front of the classroom, where the teacher was busy. Not like they ever payed attention to the student's behaviour in the first place.

"Psst princess, I can tell you the answer if you want" Hanji said in a hushed tone trying to advert attention from anyone other than levi. He gave hanji a glare in response that would have even that Eren kid running.

"Shut up shitty glasses, I'll figure it out" the teenager stoically responded despite the fact they both knew the anguish had already set in.

"Ooookay" the other droned, smacking my lips together and facing the front again, swinging their legs underneath their assigned desk. This act earned them a look of disapproval from the teacher at the front and as well Levi, of course.

The same shriek of the school bell echoed in the classroom and through the empty halls outside of the classroom, as per usual signalling at the end of the day. Screeching of chairs and desks sounded over the remains of the bell as our peers crowded and clattered out of the classroom, despite the teachers protests as they had not dismissed the class. The brunette stood by Levi, by this time his head was directly over the top of the desk.

They walked the short steps separating the desks, he turned to his side without lifting his head and made a quiet sound of disapproval and disappointment "I failed" he mumbled. Sighing, Hanji pulled the books from underneath his head and shoved them as neatly as possible into his organised but cramped backpack. Sitting up slowly he stared blankly in front of him.

"Here. Come on lets go." Heaving his heavy backpack onto the top of his school desk , they extended their arm, offering a hand to the dark haired boy.

"What does it mean though?" he asked "You said you'd tell me."

He grabbed the hand that was offered, although somewhat reluctantly and picked up the bag in the other hand. Hanji smiled to themselves as their heart did a little stupid flutter over the gesture and the pair walked out the door of the classroom.

"Can you tell me now?" asked Levi, adopting his usual stance and attitude as the couple exited the school through the now empty hallway. Hanji knew that it was mostly his front though and his awkwardness that made him that way though.

"Hmm I suuupose I could" their tone reflected a teasing sort of approach, which lead them to receive a glare as he walked away from me to lean against the wall, which just reminded Hanji of a child throwing a tantrum of sorts. Both of them walked the same way home though, so it would be awkward if they didn't fix it. Lips formed pout on the brunettes facial features, they weren't intending to make him angry, although they have a tendency to go over the top, so that seems like a standard sort of reaction, even more for someone like Levi.

Leaning over their normally resigned friend, who was pouting angrily away from them, "Fuck me" they muttered into the area between his cheek and ear. The effect of the action broke the look of angered boredom forcing him into a moment of fluster and slight panic.

"Excuse me, Hanji,,I,,,where is this coming from" he slowly backed away.

"That's the joke is. My shirt, it says fuck me." They stated. "Well if you use the symbols of the elements it does." They added somewhat thoughtfully at the end, although a part of the sentence was stopped half way from a clear voice.

"Are you kidding me?" Disbelief and irritation filled his tone as he talked to the other person. "You are fifthly!" the tone starting to break by the time he finished speaking. Despite the words, an invisible force pulled on the right corner of his lips forming a sort of half smile. Sort of.

"Hey, but I mean maybe we could fuck or something I-" a sharp pain in their stomach could be felt as they received a swift punch from the shorter kid. "Ouch that was some form of rejection" they chuckled quietly. Despite this, Levi was smiling as much as it was probably physically possible for him to.

"Is that your form of a confession, Ham Jeans?"

"Possibly." Before he could say more they started rummaging through their bag, in an attempt to find something they totally forgot until now. It was the plan from the start, how could it have slipped their mind. A short sound escaped from their lips "ahh here it is" as they pulled out a crumpled piece of cloth and shook it out to reveal the fact it was

"Is that another stupid chemistry shirt Hanji?" a deadpan response to the revealed item.

"Yes! But this time, it's for you." They spoke as they attempted to unwrinkle the shirt as much as possible before tugging it over his school uniform.

"Iodine lutetium…" the dark haired man attempted to slowly begin trying to read the massive amount of text upside down.

"Vanadium yttrium oxygen uranium!" Hanji recited the rest of the text from their memory cheerily.

"Are you going to tell me what this one means now?" He questioned me, he asked irritably, although significantly less angry than he was previously.

"I love you." Their voice rang out, clear and concise, despite both hearts beating really hard upon hearing the words. A moment of silence passed before one of them spoke again, levi anyalising the situation and Hanji knotting their hands together.

"Technically it's I L-U-V you but I was the clos-" They began, a lot more flustered than when they spoke before hand, before suddenly falling quiet as Levi's lips meet the side of their face.

"You too, giant" was the response. It only took those few words to for Hanji to know their feelings were returned and their stomach filled with a weird feeling, making them feel like one of those protagonists of one of those stereotypical female based romance movies.

* * *

There was silence as the duo continued on their walk to their homes, until eventually they got to Levi's home. He turned into the doorway and gave a wave to the person that he had only confessed to returning his feelings to less than 10 minutes ago. Hanji returned the wave before speaking.

"So I guess maybe we could Fluoride Uranium Carbon Potassium one day" they said joyfully, which was greeted by him closing the door in their face. From the other side of the door a nervous voice could be heard.

"Maybe. After you date me of course."


End file.
